Fun With Roy G Biv

“My favorite color is diversity”.

Has anyone else ever heard that quote before? In an effort to be politically correct and not offend anyone who continues to define themselves by color, many a person has used this cop out in order to let everyone know their color preference. I for one am dumbfounded by this notion. How is diversity a color? While it may have been used as a way to elicit laughter on the hit NBC show “The Office”, I feel that those who use this statement need to reexamine their views of the world and take a look at color relations.

When discussing items in political terms, person demographics are usually grouped in “white” or “black” terms. Pre-Gen Xers usually refer to Asians as “yellow”, which makes no sense to me since their actual color is a light khaki. Why are black people black when their actual skin pigment is of a brownish sort? To add to that, when former New Orleans mayor Ray Nagin referred to the city as a “Chocolate City”, is that way of implying that his skin color more resembles the outer packaging of a Hershey’s Bar than a Black Cherry Warhead?

What about the ‘white’ classification? Why can’t we add pale, tan, khaki, light brown, auburn, apricot, golden brown and gold? Would that account for every skin pigmentation and make everyone happy? I myself have more of an apricot skin and bear no resemblance to Frosty the Snowman, who is white.

Colors are necessary. I like my bananas yellow, not brown. Usually if my chicken is black rather than gold it means it’s burnt. Anything other than white snow is a problem. If I go green it’s commended, but in most states possession of too much green gets me a hefty fine and I incur a loss of green from my bank account. Red is the preferred color of lipstick wearers, but also means you are a communist, unless of course you prefer red delicious apples to the aforementioned green Granny Smith version.

To most people my age, purple refers to a little dinosaur who used to appear on a show with his friends every weekday, but old-school Minnesota sports fans and preschool teachers will remember the Purple People eaters (Vikings Defense, One eyed one horned flying song), when of course politicians haven’t twisted it to make it seem like a state is a purple “swing” state. What about blue? Besides being my boy who died an untimely death in Old School, and my state of affairs after a Cowboys postseason loss, it is also the preferred color of a political party. Why was Little Boy Blue excluded?

Ladies and gentleman, diversity is not a color. Certain events, items, people and ideas are classified by a color in order to enunciate their meaning. They will remain necessary. We have to do our part to make sure those with ulterior motives do not do their part and divide a nation already unrest over color. We may have elected the first black/African American/Hawaiian/Chicago Bulls fan president, but we also elected the 43rd American.

The NAACP, LULAC, OCA, and ADL look to identify and rectify problems for underrepresented Americans, not just people of a color. In this day of multiculturalism, it is not enough to define someone as Anglo-Saxon, African, Latin, and Asian, since that may not be where they come from. As misguided as it may seem, some people still use colors to see the world, to try and separate themselves from the black and white, and we need to do our part to help them understand the greater global community in other terms.

By the way, my favorite color is royal blue.


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