Adventures on Chatroulette


Last night, my roommate, his girlfriend, and I had two options: sit at home and amuse ourselves, or go to the bars, smell like smoke, and amuse ourselves. Being that my roommate and I have an upcoming trip to Vegas, we chose the former.

While at home, I amused myself for the better part of an hour perusing the various websites I do every day: ESPN, Sports Illustrated, Facebook, Twitter, and TMZ. Don’t ask me why I go on TMZ. After I officially bored myself, my roommate had the great idea that we should discover Chatroulette. A friend of his had amused himself for awhile a couple of weeks ago playing on the site in a hotel lobby.

Before I go any further, let me explain the basics of Chatroulette. The site was devised in September 2009 by a Russian who thought of another way to connect people around the world online. A webcam is required and from my observations, Chatroulette is basically an upgrade from the creepy AIM chats you used to do way back 5-6-7 years ago when you first discovered the wonders of the internet as a prepubescent teenager.

After much debate on how to present myself, I pressed “New Game” and proceeded to attempt to meet people with my roommate right next to me. The first potential webchat partner disconnected within .5 seconds, as did the second. The third “partner” was a genetalia. After about five seconds of complete and utter shock and disgust, it was on to the next person, which happened to be three people seeing how much trouble they could cause on this site.

After about thirty minutes on Chatroulette, I gave up. I had about twenty-five partners, and of those five were pictures of the male genital region. Now, if I was really interested in naked body parts, wouldn’t it just be easier to go on a porn site? Aside from those disgusting images, I “chatted” with two girls (this site has about a 150:1 male-to-female ratio) and made fun of an overweight male. I had one person message me saying “I WANNA SEE YOUR D***” (yes, in all caps, just like how Stephen A. Smith talks) and several malfunctions of my webcam.

All in all, this time spent on Chatroulette taught me a valuable lesson: know what you’re getting into on random webcam website at midnight on a Friday night. I should have heeded this lesson a long time ago, back when XXRoxAnneXX sent me an IM at one in the morning saying: “A/S/L?”.

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