My attempt at a review of the Academy Awards

For the first time in my adult life, I watched the Oscars in its entirety. Even better, I watched half an hour of the E! pre-Oscar show. Yes, call me derogatory names and berate my TV choices and criticize me for not going to Hot Springs, Arkansas for the UNT men’s basketball quarterfinal game, but I just HAD to watch the Oscars. And listen to Giuliana Rancic’s terrible reporting.

I’m not much into the fashion scene of Hollywood, but I do find the choices that some actors and actresses wear quite interesting. Robert Downey Jr.’s teal bowtie signified his overall badnessness (no, that’s not a real word) and Sarah Jessica Parker looked like Cleopatra with battle armor.

Otherwise, everyone else looked pretty, or handsome, depending on the gender. On the other hand, it must be nice to receive a free $1,000 dress/tuxedo for being an actor/actress/producer.

Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin were marginally funny, and I think the Oscars should go back to a one host show. However, those two were the perfect complement to one another. Neil Patrick Harris had a boring opener, but nothing beats Hugh Jackman’s monologue a couple of years ago. Ben Stiller’s Avatar makeup made me laugh, and Robin Williams’s balls joke was quite witty.

Besides that previously mentioned, everything else was pretty mundane from a presenting point of view. I’m sure the Academy felt like it was touching to have different actors and actresses talk about the Best Actor and Actress award winners, but it definitely added time that did not need to be added.

Now to the actual Oscar award winners. Two lessons from the night: 1. A candidate Oprah backs can be beaten. 2. Just because your movie grosses an amount bigger than the GDP of Micronesia does not beget a “Best Picture” award. Good for Hurt Locker though, I really enjoyed it, though my roommate felt otherwise about the movie. It’s also nice to see someone who is not named Cameron or Tarantino win a “Best Director award. Good for Kathryn Bigelow.

Although he didn’t win, James Cameron pretty much solidified legend status, up there with Spielberg, Hitchcock, Kubrick, D.W. Griffith, Chaplin and Scorcese. The way in which he revolutionized movie technology and made an utterly great film is truly amazing. To add, he holds the #1 and #2 spot of top grossing films of all time. Tarantino is great as well, but it will take one or two more truly great films to get to Cameron’s level. I’m interested to see what Lee Daniels can come up with next; I’d like to see him compete with Tyler Perry for great minority culture films.

Monique’s award was well deserved also, and not because the Academy felt it was their duty to award a comedian acting in a serious role. According to several friends, it was an actually decent movie, and she played a great role, which is why I should probably go see it and stop spending money on movies like Valentine’s Day. Maybe there is a slight chance Larry the Cable Guy or Katt Williams can play a serious role in an actual decent movie. Come to think of it, I do not think Larry is good enough for Beer for my Horses (Toby Keith movie)

The roommate says Sandra Bullock was no surprise, since he saw the Blind Side and I did not. I was rooting for Meryl Streep, for no reason in particular, but I like the story of Gabourey Sidibe, and I hope she is not just a one hit wonder. By the way I find it interesting that her story is similar to the rags-to-riches stories of both the actor who played Michael Oher in Blind Side, as well as the actor who played Biggie in Notorious. Cool stuff.

On the topic of Best Actor, no matter what he does, Jeff Bridges will always be “The Dude” to me, and every other fan of Big Lebowski. Once again, I did not see Crazy Heart. Shame on me.

Since I have the Oscar post-party on E! on mute right now, I should probably end this. From watching the Oscars I can deduce a couple of things for myself:

1. Stop seeing shitty movies.

2. Start shelling out $9.50 for a ticket to the Angelika, for decent indie films and documentaries. (The Cove, Precious)

3. Remember that there is life for Texas actors outside of Matthew McConaughey (Sandra Bullock).

4. You can actually make an Iraq war movie and not have a giant leftist political twist to it (shocking).

5. Sometime soon, the world, and hopefully teens, will tire of Miley Cyrus and Taylor Lautner.

Ok I’m done. Time to watch the next President of the United States, Ryan Seacrest


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