“There are some people who stay with you all your life, and there are those who just make an appearance”
Make fun of me all you want for using a quote from a popular ABC family show, but it rings so true.
I never thought I would ever catch myself watching an ABC family show consistently, but it happened. Starting my sophomore year, when myself and some fraternity brothers would skip out on Monday chapter meetings every so often (before the days of Hulu) I fell in love (metaphorically) with the show about fake fraternities and sororities at the fake college, CRU. There were so many interesting dynamics to the show, and this season especially, things that could possibly be related to real life.
This season, Season 4, was particularly interesting. Two of the main characters, Ashley and Casey, are in their final semester of senior year, and faced with uncertain futures. Casey wants to go to law school, but wonders what will happen with her relationship with on-again off-again boyfriend Cappy. Casey’s brother Rusty, the recent recipient of a prestigious grant, is also faced with the prospect of growing up, and new relationships with his friends, fraternity brothers and women. Evan, once the boyfriend of Casey, wonders how he can maintain control of his fraternity, still reeling from his decision to decline his parent’s trust fund. And there is Calvin and Grant, the gay couple struggling with ways to display their affection and love as a couple in public- and finding a way to coexist as roommates.
Think of all that I just wrote. I’m sure one or two of you, or maybe the third person that reads this has ever heard of any of these scenarios happening with friends or family: graduation, girl/boyfriends, mixing business with social pleasure, and issues of homosexuality.
But now- back to the original quote. I am a second semester college senior, who will graduate unless he fails his Political theory class. I go out here and there, work out daily, and try to figure out what the hell I’m actually going to do with the rest of my life/ make up fake occupations to tell my parents’ friends when they inquire, since their kid happens to be going to law school/grad school/school of hard knocks.
I used to be highly, highly involved on my college campus- going to sometimes two, three meetings daily with different organizations during my freshman and sophomore years. I had a long list of organizations, and always made sure I was doing something other than bumming around. I made many, many friends, whether through drunken nights at RBAR, house parties, or other legitimate forms of social interaction.
Then I went to DC for a semester- and things changed. I met new, interesting people, some of who had a much, much different outlook on life. I roomed with foreigners who forced me to always stay sharp regarding areas of policy. I took a class with kids who challenged everything I believed- except when it related to sports. I took an internship in something that I thought I enjoyed, but ended up not liking when I was finished. I felt freer because of the public transportation and the need to not have a car ever. I enjoyed the constant social interaction. I was finally starting to figure out things in DC… then I had to leave.
I came back to UNT in the spring. Things were different. Guys who were my best friends for the first two years of college did not talk with me anymore. I had only a few friends- I was no longer a “king” as my dad put it. My passion for certain organizations dwindled. I was constantly wishing I was back in DC while talking to my friends from the semester program.
Fast forward again to this semester. I have much, much more time on my hands (one of the reasons I started writing this blog). I started an actual workout plan and actually go through with it on a relatively daily basis. I still do not care about school (some things never change), and I watch TV a whole lot more- not necessarily a bad thing, but it can get boring nonetheless. The one thing that has remained constant this semester and last has been friends- I hang out with the same small set of people. Sure, I see people every now and then who I used to party with, but the relationship is not the same as it was.
As I’ve grown through college, and even high school, there have always been friends who have stayed constant in my life. Some friends that I’ve known all my life or a majority of it, have become closer to me, whether through changes in their geographic location, multiple close conversations in a program we attended, or being online at the same time as me every day. Those relationships I cherish, and I can bet I can count on them to be a part of any of my future life endeavors. There are others who I met, whether by complete chance or a program, who I maintain a platonic connection with and our friendship has blossomed through distance and excessive Facebook/Skype chats. I can also count on them.
I’m very lucky- there are many people out there who lost contact with childhood, middle school and high school friends over the years. I may have lost contact with some during the years where social media was not prevalent in everyday life, or during my first two years of college, but I am glad they are back in my life and I can continue my close friendships with them. Once again, thank god for social media.
Of course, there are others who I haven’t talked to- but maybe the quote rings true: “There are some people who stay with you all your life, and there are those who just make an appearance”