after I wrote this, I took a nine iron to my roommate’s black suv


I’m sure many of you will disagree with me but here’s what I hope happens this weekend at the Masters:

Scroll to the 1:30 mark

Or this:

He did that on a bum leg.

Say what you want about Tiger regarding his infidelities (you should never, ever cheat on your wife/loved one, especially with fourteen different women) but that guy is a great golfer. I don’t know about you, but I enjoy seeing him slam his clubs like Happy Gilmore on a bad shot, or the traditional fist pump at the end. I mean seriously, players from the four major sports leagues cheat all the time. No one gives a rat’s ass about them.

Then again this is Tiger Woods- the most famous athlete on the planet (with apologies to David Beckham and Cristiano Ronaldo) This guy made Nike THE player on the golf scene, much like Michael Jordan did with his Air Jordan brand of shoes for Nike twenty-five years ago. This guy made golf exciting to even the most passive of golf fans. This guy made golf watchable. It’s the equivalent of Brittney Griner to women’s basketball (HOLY SHIT SHE DUNKED TWICE IN A GAME- so read the headline from the Dallas Morning News a couple of weeks ago).

I take that back- I still don’t give a sh*t about women’s basketball.

Anyway, he cheated on his wife. Yes, that will taint his legacy. If the tabloids were huge 50,60,80 years ago, we’d be hearing about Babe Ruth and his merry wives of Windsor, or Wilt Chamberlain and his 20,000 women (if you’ve ever read anything about his escapades, it’s worth a good laugh) aside from their athletic accomplishments.

He is back to golf though now and making his season debut at a course he knows oh so well- Augusta National.

Go Tiger.

What I want to see Sunday April 11 on the 18th Hole at Augusta National

FUCK YOU WORLD! I"M TIGER WOODS BITCH!

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