After one week of JDate, my buddy Mark told me to switch my profile to New York City, in hopes of attracting more views and having more conversations to improve my investment. The following two entries detail my first two conversations (one conversation in full, the other excerpts of one) with two of Manhattan’s finest.
Me: hey- i see you dance. I also dance, when I am slightly inibriated and when either parliament funkadelic, naughty by nature or jock james is on
*** Waiting for Skinny Pale Dancer to connect
*** Skinny Pale Dancer’s IM window is open
Her: haha you any good?
Me: Well, they had me as an alternate for High School Musical, but I lost out to Zack Efron and 7,000 other people because I had two left feet
Me: It scarred me
Me: just like when I didnt make my 5th grade choir
Me: I couldnt sing in the shower for a couple of years
Me: alright, so tell me a little bit about you, obviously you know my failings and the fact that I’m alternating between this conversation and the baylor-west virginia football game
Her: what do you want to know
Me: why you happen to be on jdate at 345 pm on a saturday afternoon
Me: when you could be pregaming for the yankee game
Her: haha well i just got back from a class at the gym with my friend
Her: with a real dancer, great class
Her: we go every saturday and monday
Me: channing tatum?
Me: patrick swayze jr
Me: i tried zumba once
Me: didnt have the ass for it
ME according to the instructor
*** Skinny Pale Dancer’s IM window is closed
Obviously this girl wasn’t much for sarcasm. I should’ve known by her profile. She was really about being taken to a swanky Manhattan restaurant, and then having that followed up with chocolate dishes I cannot pronounce. Clearly there will not be a 3 AM late night Jdate conversation any time soon.