Diaries of a New York JDater Part Four: Our country is really effed

Most of the conversations I have on JDate are very basic and lack any sort of depth whatsoever. There are those women who can keep up and give some great nuggets that are hillarious. Take this New Jersey teacher for instance:

Her: So how a good southern boy end up in the city?

Me: Well, when the south seceded from the union in November 2008 due to the election of a man with a funny name and a great jump shot, I decided to move from the temple of Bush to the land of my idol Carrie Bradshaw

Her: Interesting thought process, I don’t remember learning about that in my history classes. Though Cowboys Statdium could probably be its own country. And why is Carrie Bradshaw your idol? You don’t seem like th guy who would wear 6 inch heels

Me: Carrie bradshaw isnt, I much prefer samantha- more forthcoming and adventerous than constantly crazy carrie. She was just the first person I thought of. You don’t learn that in New York, but when I was in school, we were taught to believe Barack Obama was really the next great Dallas Cowboys running back, and I think some of the chuch going conservatives were really upset when he won the Heisman in 2008 over wily veteran John McCain who came from a much more lily white traditional background.

Wait….. we aren’t on Jdate to talk about football are we?

Her: I understood exactly what you just said after living in the Bible Belt for 5 years. One of my 4 year old students told me our presidents name was Abomanation Muslim because he wasn’t white and a devout christian. Shows what those church going conservatives know.
So what do you do when you are not tyring to be the ultimate combination of Will Smith and Michael Jordan?

Who said 4 year olds can’t  have political views?


2 responses to “Diaries of a New York JDater Part Four: Our country is really effed

  1. Funny post! You’re a good writer. Our country IS effed.

  2. thanks man! I appreciate it!

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